Grasping for Joy?

What does that mean?   Well, to grasp is defined as to hold firmly or get hold of mentally, comprehend, understand, to seize upon and hold and joy is the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something good or satisfying, a state of happiness.  

My whole life, I feel like, the joy has been somewhat elusive, but I think, through all the stress and heartache that I have been through the last couple of years, I've gotten better at appreciating the good times and maybe, finally, experiencing some of the joy.  

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