One step forward, one step back.

I was very happy, last August, to give up my Prozac.  I had been on a 10 mg dose for years and it was very hard to taper off of.  I finally got rid of the buzzy head symptoms about January.  Then, in January, I had the stressor of moving my mom to a new assisted living facility and the stresses have just kept on coming.  Every time I get up, the rug is pulled out from under me again, over and over and over again.  Every day involves watching someone suffer who does not understand what is happening to them.  This is life with an Alzheimer's patient.  Not fun.  In this context, I went to the doctor in February and got a prescription for Wellbutrin XL.   I came home, read the side effects, decided I didn't want to take it and put it in the desk drawer.  But, life just kept happening and happening and despite all I have learned while writing this blog, about fake smiling and making my bed and taking a cold shower, I have not yet mastered always looking on the bright side of things, so the Wellbutrin had to come out of the drawer.  I started taking it last week.   I admit I do feel better.  I'm supposed to be tapering the dose up, but so far, I've stayed on the lowest dose of 100 mg because I want the eventual taper off to be easier.   I have dived back into my art and reading, which is a comfort to me and yesterday, I did a random act of kindness which involved giving a piece of my art to all of the employees of the assisted living that help with my mom and that did make me feel better too.  It's still hard.

I know we all want to be able to make it without these medications and their side effects, but we can't always do it.  I am not beating myself up about it.  I'm just taking my pill each day and trying to hang in there, down here at the end of my rope, where I live.

I have enjoyed this Ted talk lately on the Surprising Science of Happiness.  You should go watch.

Playing Games.

Playing games is a valuable enterprise to help in all aspects of mental health and can help you recover from depression.

You'll have to listen to the talk to know why there are pictures of baby animals here.  :-)

A Ted talk by Jane McGonigal.  This highlights a way to use a game to experience post traumatic growth.  That's one phrase you don't ever hear.    Go, watch this Ted Talk.  Do what she says and then, just for fun,
visit Deep Fun by Bernie DeKoven and find a game to play with someone  that will enhance your relationships and enhance your very life.  Play is so important.

Reverse Bucket List

Go on over to Boho Berry for what a reverse bucket list means and get inspiration from her list. Okay,

I'll wait while you go read the blog post and her list.

Now lets do some brainstorming for our own lists, maybe categories ...

Places I visited.

People I have treasured along the way.

Creative things I did.

Just plain fun experiences I would never trade for anything.

Have fun with it!

Stress!

I've not been blogging lately because I have been experiencing some stress.  We've had a cancer diagnosis in the past 2 weeks in a close family member and we've been trying to deal with it.  I think that she's going to be okay now and we seem to be adjusting to our new normal.  While in the midst of this, I walked into the library and saw this book.




It is absolutely mind boggling and incredible!. This book says it's not stress that kills us, it's the way we think about stress that kills us or strengthens us.  If you don't do anything else I ever have said or will say in the future, watch this video.


Here's a quote: “Mindset 1: Stress Is Harmful. Experiencing stress depletes my health and vitality. Experiencing stress debilitates my performance and productivity. Experiencing stress inhibits my learning and growth. The effects of stress are negative and should be avoided. Mindset 2: Stress Is Enhancing. Experiencing stress enhances my performance and productivity. Experiencing stress improves my health and vitality. Experiencing stress facilitates my learning and growth. The effects of stress are positive and should be utilized.” ― Kelly McGonigal, The Upside of Stress: Why stress is good for you

Okay, this one is pretty interesting.

Botox, the botulism toxin that the inject into your face to paralyze your muscles so you won't have frown line wrinkles, makes you feel happier because it makes you unable to frown and facial muscles influence brain activity.

Time Magazine Wipe Away That Frown.

If you keep reading to the bottom of the article, it gets even more odd.

"But Lewis says he favors the theory that facial muscles influence brain activity directly and points to earlier research that suggests such a neurological link. For example, studies have shown that subjects find comedy routines significantly funnier when they hold a pen between their teeth the way a dog holds a bone, a pose that stimulates the muscles used for smiling. Similarly, subjects laugh less when holding a pen between their lips, a pose that mimics frowning."

He looks pretty happy here, doesn't he?  

NY Times - Get Botox!