So now, add failure to the list. Or not.

So last week, I took a job I had been offered.  I worked from Tuesday until Friday and then I quit.  I could not visualize myself staying in that job and the company I was working for needed me to commit there for a year.  So, before signing my contract saying I would work for a year, I quit.  It was especially embarrassing for me because I had put it on Facebook saying that I was starting a new job and also I put it on Facebook saying that I had quit, in order to stop a lot of the questions about how the new job was going ... etc.   Next time I will keep any new job starts to myself.  (I may not even tell my immediate family!)   Lesson learned.  As a matter of fact, I've learned many lessons this week.  That was #1.  Another one is not to be seduced by money to a job that I really deep down don't want.   Also, I learned that physically I can do a lot more than I thought.  All this exercise this summer has paid off.  I learned that I don't want to be away from my home and family 40 hours a week because that is where my heart is.  I don't know how much longer these 2 kids (who are pretty much grown up now) will live with us and I want to be around for them while they are launching as much as I can.  Soon enough, they'll have their own homes, families, jobs and I won't see them very much.  I learned that I need a job that aligns with my core beliefs and if it doesn't I won't last long.  I also learned that I need to be able to be genuinely me at work, which I guess is basically the same as the core beliefs thingy but this job required me to be falsely cheerful and talkative and I didn't feel very comfortable with that. 


Learning this many lessons in a week is difficult and I feel very vulnerable right now.  I'm afraid I won't ever be able to stick to anything.  I'm sure most readers are familiar with the voice of gloom and doom saying (in our heads)  "You can't stick to anything!"  "You always quit".  You're a spoiled rotten baby who won't ever amount to anything!"


Sigh.


Step 1 of starting over, go to the library and get a book that is designed to help people find careers that fit.  Step 2, make a to-do list and start doing it.  Step 3, try and keep the sense of humor and the faith.